Battle Scars
by TheDivergentTribute aka TDT
Summary: Hazel is having a hard time breathing/living, She might not last any longer she is heart broken and misses Augustus. (Just saying I cried while writing this sorry it so short I will add more to it. )
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I don't even know what to say I have cried all day because of TFIOS...**

Its been three months since Augustus had died. I was not handling well, I cried every night, I still do. I was having an even harder time breathing. I don't think I am going to last any longer and I think every ones else knows it to, everyone is hanging out with me and calling me; some of them I haven't talked to in years and they are now wanting to talk to me.

Being broken in so many ways hurts, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. I go to Children's at least 3 times a week now, a few times I have had to stay there for days once time I had to stay there for two weeks. It was awful I kept think if I feel asleep Augustus would come on while I was asleep, like he did before.

When I am at home I read AIA and email Lidewij, I also keep reading The Price Of Down and end up crying every time I open the book because it was Augustus copy and it had his phone number in it.

**Okay I can't continue right now I am not kidding I am crying. How the hell did John Green do this. I will continue I promise I just can't go on right now I am in terrible shape, I am crying and I can't even read what I wrote. um PLEASE REVIEW Tell me if you are in as bad of shape I am in. REVIEW! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Okay I think I can do this. okay AH DON'T SAY OKAY! I can do this I can. I am listening to sad music and I have TFIOS next to me...**

The more I thought about dying the more I felt a little more happy. Maybe some how I could be with Gus again. Maybe. I also didn't want to leave my parents behind with no one left to care for, but I knew it was coming, I know it is.

How much longer do I have? How long do I have to put up with this battle? I hope one of us wins it sooner or later.

I grab my phone and call Issac he is the only person I can really talk to he lost his best friend and they knew each other longer than me and Gus knew each other.

"Hey do you want to hang out today? maybe play some video games or something?" I ask

"Sure come over at 3:00." He says and hangs up the phone.

Its only 12:00 PM three hours I have to wait what am I going to do I have to get out. I yell for my mom and she come right away

"Is something wrong Hazel?" She always ask that when I call her.

"No I am going to Issac's for the evening I will be home around 9:30 maybe even earlier. is that fine?" I ask.

"Yes sure be home before 10:00 though." Ten. I remember that is the same time Gus was supposed to be home. I can't take it I have to get out I grab the keys to the car and go. I drive and drive I don't know where I am going until I am there. Funky Bones.

The place Augustus told me he was going to spend his wish on going to Amsterdam to meet Peter Van Houten. Where we kissed at the Anne Frank house, where we...Where we knew we loved each other. Where I told him I loved him. I begin to cry sitting on the Funky Bones I sit there and cry and think about Gus when I realizes its almost three, so I get up and walk to the car.

When I get to Issac's his mom lets me in and I walk in the living to and find Issac sitting on the couch playing Counterinsurgence.

"Hey it Hazel from support group not your crazy ex." I say like I always do.

"Hey Hazel Grace...Hazel. um come sit down I will restart the game." He says. Only Augustus called me Hazel Grace. hearing that name made tears come to my eyes and I rush over and hug Issac.

"I miss his Issac. I can't stop thinking about him. Its getting worse every time I think about him I find it harder to breathe." I am sobbing into his shirt I don't care I can't help it I miss Gus and I need to tell some one how much I miss him, I can't tell my parents they will think I need to go to the hospital again so I just go to Issac who understands it all.

"I know Hazel I miss him too. I-I think about him all the time and I wish I could see his face one more time. But I can't."

I realize that Issac has it worse than me I never thought of it. I can look at pictures of Gus and see his house and see his old room. but Issac he can't he is stuck in the darkness in only the memory of Gus. I take out my phone and look at the last picture I took of Gus. It was him and Issac at Monica's house after they had Egged her car. I smile a little and begin to cry again. I hate crying in front of people but I have gotten use to crying in front of Issac, not to mean but he can only hear me cry he can't see me cry.

"Let get this game going." I say, I was about to say 'Okay' but I remember that was mine and Augustus' word. I try to use it as little as possible.

**Gah I barley got through that one. its longer much longer I did it! ah but I am still crying. Hardest thing ever is to write and TFIOS fanfic. **

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I think it's almost been a week.. I don't know. Thank you those of you who have read and followed this story I am glad you all like it. :) **

That night I lay in bed read AIA again. Even though I need to sleep I just can't seem to shut mind up. I keep thinking of when I will die. I could die tonight in my sleep, or maybe tomorrow just out of the blue I don't know.

After I finish the 10th chapter I can feel my eyes getting heavy and close the book and sleep.

"HAZEL WAKE UP!" Its my mom, must be a holiday.

"I'm awake." I say groggy from sleep.

I can't think of any holiday that my mom could be celebrating today. "Why did you wake me up what holiday is it?" I ask her.

"None, Your dad and I just want to spend the whole day with you do something fun." She says with a big smile.

"Oh um okay." I say and slip out of bed. She walks out of the room and I change my clothes. I put on some jeans the knees ripped and my pipe shirt. I wouldn't be wearing it but its the only think I have clean. This is the first time I have worn it since...um...Amsterdam.

I sit on my bed a while longer not really wanting to move. When I finally tell myself I have to for moms sake. So I do I get up and go into the kitchen where mom and dad are sitting at the table getting ready to eat breakfast. I sit down and I have some eggs and some toast on my plate with a glass of milk. A good breakfast, but I am not hungry. Or at least not for eggs. I stare down at my eggs, not even listening to my parents I can't hear them. When I hear mom calling my name I look up at her.

"huh?" I say

"I said are you okay you look like you might be sick or something?" She ask kind of worried.

"Yeah I just. I just don't really feel like eating. Eggs aren't my favorite thing at the moment. Sorry." I say. Mom gives me a sad face and takes the eggs away.

"Do you want some cereal?" She asks getting the fruit loops out.

"Sure just a small bowl." I say to her with a weak smile. She pours me some cereal and adds a little milk and sets it in front of me with a spoon. I eat it slowly.

**Sorry its kinda short I just well. yeah. I need a break I miss Gus so um yeah. REVIEW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Thank you for reading tell me what I should add okay I need IDEAS! :) Thanks again for reading. **


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